What is relational therapy? When people think of therapy, they often picture sitting across from a therapist, talking about their past, or working through anxiety. But what if I told you that the way you relate to others—your partner, friends, family, and even colleagues could hold the key to real change?
That’s where relational therapy comes in.
Why I’m Passionate About Relational Therapy
I’ve seen firsthand how understanding our relational patterns can be life-changing. The way we connect (or struggle to) often holds the key to deep personal growth. Many of us don’t realise that our earliest relationships shape how we trust, communicate, and even love as adults. Therapy offers the space to explore these dynamics and, more importantly, change them.
Understanding Relational Therapy
At its core, relational therapy focuses on your relationships—past and present—and how they shape your emotional world. It’s based on the idea that we don’t exist in isolation; our early relationships influence the way we connect with people today.
Have you ever wondered why you:
🔹 Struggle with trust, even in safe relationships?
🔹 Feel anxious or avoidant in love?
🔹 Keep repeating unhealthy relationship patterns?
🔹 Find it hard to express your needs or set boundaries?
These patterns aren’t random—they often stem from early experiences, shaping the way you attach, communicate, and even perceive yourself. Relational therapy helps uncover these deep-rooted dynamics, giving you the tools to heal, grow, and create healthier relationships.
What Happens in a Relational Therapy Session?
Unlike some therapy approaches that focus purely on thoughts and behaviours, relational therapy explores the emotional connections that have shaped you.
In our sessions, we might:
🔹 Look at your past relationships to understand recurring patterns.
🔹 Explore your current relationships—romantic, family, friendships, or work to notice themes.
🔹 Work on self-relationship—because the way you relate to others often mirrors how you treat yourself.
🔹 Use our therapeutic relationship as a safe space to notice and shift unhelpful relational habits.
Therapy isn’t just about understanding your past—it’s about using that knowledge to create real change in your present and future.
A Real-Life Example
Take Sarah, for instance (not her real name). She came to therapy feeling frustrated that she always ended up in emotionally distant relationships. Through our sessions, she realised that growing up with emotionally unavailable parents had taught her to expect distance, even when she craved closeness.
By recognising this pattern, she was able to:
🔹 Stop blaming herself for why relationships didn’t feel fulfilling.
🔹 Learn to communicate her needs rather than shutting down.
🔹 Start choosing partners who could meet her emotionally, instead of repeating the past.
This is the power of relational therapy—it helps us see where we’ve been, so we can change where we’re going.
Who is Relational Therapy For?
This approach is for anyone who struggles with relationships—whether that’s with a partner, family, friends, colleagues, or even within themselves. It’s especially helpful if you:
🔹 Find yourself repeating the same unhealthy relationship patterns (e.g., choosing emotionally unavailable partners, struggling with trust, or feeling unfulfilled).
🔹 Feel anxious, avoidant, or insecure in relationships—whether romantic, friendships, or family.
🔹 Struggle with communication and setting boundaries, often putting others’ needs before your own.
🔹 Experience people-pleasing tendencies or difficulty saying “no.”
🔹 Feel disconnected from your emotions or find it hard to express your needs.
🔹 Have a history of difficult, painful, or even traumatic relationships that continue to impact you.
🔹 Want to develop deeper, healthier emotional connections but aren’t sure how.
🔹 Have difficulty trusting others, even when they’ve done nothing wrong.
🔹 Struggle with self-relationship, often being self-critical or feeling unworthy of love.
Ready to Explore?
Relational therapy is about connection, healing, and change. If this resonates with you, I’d love to support you on your journey.
💬 Let’s start the conversation—send me a message or book a session to explore how relational therapy could help you.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/therapy-types/relational-therapy
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